Are You in a Virtual Relationship?

My previous blog post “Intimacy Online” led me to reflect on the role of technology in relationships in the modern age. Online dating has become more socially acceptable and common in the past decade and there has been an explosion of dating sites. The target populations of these sites range from broad (e.g. match.com) to specific (e.g. jdate.com) and as such people from all walks of life can find others who have a similar background or interests. Aside from meeting potential lovers online, people have turned to virtual forms of communication for the maintenance of relationships. During any given day, a couple may casually carry out a conversations through text message, send their loved one a link to Youtube videos of interest shared over Facebook during their lunch break, and then publicly document their date in the evening via Instagram photos. Living in a world where “it’s not official until it’s Facebook official” certainly has altered the foundation of relationships in the modern age. Social networking sites encourage people to share information about their private relationships and technology, in general, grants people easier and more constant access to their significant other. Couples can carry out “face to face” conversations over webcam, play games and watch Youtube videos together online, and even send racy messages and photos over their cellular devices. With all this technology, it seems that a significant portion of any relationship could be considered virtual.

Having been in a long distance relationship in which Skype was a staple means of communication and I went months without seeing my partner in person I wonder if there is much that separates my relationship while long distance from any other “online” relationship. Of course, I had actually met my boyfriend in “real life” and gone on physical dates, but did our virtual, long-distance relationship feel any different than our physical, face-to-face, relationship? My answer is a profound Yes. While I personally feel that a virtual relationship allows for a much deeper connection than one that is sustained through pen and paper and snail mail, for me, it simply cannot hold a candle to the quality time of an in-person relationship where there are no screens and no barriers.